will the REAL you please stand up?

Did you know that the human epidermis — the outer layer of skin, the part that meets the world — renews itself every five to six weeks?

Renewal isn’t just a biological miracle; it’s a spiritual one. As a relationship therapist, I see renewal as central to everything — seeing ourselves and our loved ones (yes, even those who get under our skin) with new eyes and renewed compassion every single day.

It’s essential to every relationship — including our relationship with HaShem. In fact, it’s the foundation of our avodah, our service of G-d — our very purpose in this world.

But how do we actually do that? How do we stay open to renewal when life feels like an endless list of drains — the daily grind, the frictions of living side-by-side, the quirks and temperaments of others that rub us raw?

Let’s explore the 3 Ways to Meet the Real New YOU!

1. Recognize the Cosmic System — and Your Place in It

Chassidus teaches that the Almighty recreates the world anew every single moment. If He were to stop, even for an instant, the world would cease to exist.

That means creation isn’t just something G-d did — it’s something He does. Constantly.

And here’s the astounding part: HaShem invites us to partner with Him in this divine renewal. Every moment, we’re offered the chance to be recharged, revitalized, and reborn — just like creation itself.

When we cling to yesterday’s hurts and disappointments, it’s as though we’re saying, “I reject the system.” We’re resisting the natural flow of divine life that sustains us.

When we wallow in self-doubt or self-hate, we cut ourselves off from that infinite Source of vitality. Worse still, the persecution of self inevitably leads to the persecution of others — when we reject HaShem’s gifts, we reject the Giver Himself.

The good news? Once we align with the energy already animating creation, life becomes easeful. When we do what is divinely assigned to us, we receive divine assistance — and then, truly, we cannot fail.

Surrender to HaShem’s rhythm, and you’ll find it’s the ultimate freedom.

2. Do Unto Yourself as You Would Unto Others

Now that you know the entire universe supports you and your mission, it’s time to build your spiritual muscles. How? Through mitzvos — actions that connect you to HaShem and to your truest self.

If it’s a mitzvah, do it.

If it’s not, leave it.

Judaism simplifies life. No guesswork. No endless “should I or shouldn’t I?” Our purpose is written clearly in the Torah, and every mitzvah keeps us tethered to meaning.

Each morning, we pray, “Baruch Ata… poke’ach ivrim” — Blessed are You… who opens the eyes of the blind. We ask HaShem to open our eyes to see who we truly are and what we’re needed for.

Once you recognize your Divine self, you realize that every self-critical thought is not humility — it’s heresy. Self-hatred is a war against G-d.

When you see yourself as He sees you, you start treating yourself with the same kindness, warmth, and patience you offer others.

Remember: pain is inevitable — but suffering is optional.

Try this:

First thought: “I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I just messed that up.”

Second thought: “No one is as critical of me as I am. I can choose kindness. I’ll greet myself with the same warmth I give others.”

Or:

First thought: “I’m falling apart. I can’t do this.”

Second thought: “This isn’t about me. HaShem placed me here for a reason. What does He need from me right now? Surely He’s given me everything I need to do His will.”

That’s how we transform fear into faith.

Prayer reminds us: we are not in charge. Every morning is a cosmic reset.

Then, we nourish the soul with Torah learning. Today, with technology, there’s no excuse — you can learn while driving, walking, or waiting. Learn alone, with a partner, or in a group.

And don’t stop there. Lift someone else as you rise. The Lubavitcher Rebbe taught:

“If you know alef, teach alef.”

If you love the gym, bring a friend. If you pass a nursing home, volunteer. Call someone lonely while you’re stuck in traffic.

Do something simple and sustainable — not a distant dream project. Purpose is found in small, daily acts of goodness.

Being needed is far better than being needy.

3. Don’t Go Through It Alone

This year, make it a priority to create a support network.

Find yourself a mentor or mashpia — someone kind, wise, and invested in your growth. Why? Because two yetzer tovs are better than one yetzer hara.

When you have someone on your side, you now have two positive forces battling your negative one — and that’s a divine formula for success.

Often, the only thing between us and healing is perspective. And since no problem can be solved from the same mindset that created it, having the humility and courage to seek help changes everything.

The Rebbe emphasized this practice as essential to personal and spiritual growth. Every athlete has a coach. Every artist has a mentor. Why shouldn’t you?

Today there’s no shortage of faith-based therapists, life coaches, and spiritual guides who can help you transform pain and shame into purpose and joy.

May your year be sweet and filled with revealed good.

May all your efforts lead to personal redemption — and through that, to our collective redemption.

May it begin with you.

May it be now.